let's talk about pies.

sister in law (SO weird saying that) sent me the recipe for this dark chocolate salted caramel oreo pie recently, like hey check this out, but of course i had to make it immediately. not only did it sound incredibly easy, but what's not to like? oreos, homemade caramel, dark chocolate ganache, and a sprinkling of sea salt. aww yiss.

it sounded magical, and it was. it was also just as quick and easy as promised, and i only ran into a couple of snags. i didn't have a tart pan nor a pie pan with straight sides, so i ended up using a glass slope-sided pie plate and ended up with a slightly thicker outer crust than i would have liked, but that was obviously my error. seeing as i was also cooking while slightly inebriated (it was the weekend, whatever), i totally undercooked my caramel as well. but ultimately, that didn't turn out to be a problem. everything still tastes great - there is just some caramel leakage from the cut sides while it's in storage.

oh and i almost forgot! i felt kind of meh about the sea salt being only on top, so i made my caramel filling slightly more salted (salted butter, pinch of kosher at the end). i was very happy with the sweet/salty contrast in the final product. i see myself making this again whenever i need a serious dose of chocolate, or the next time i need to seduce someone with a sexy dessert! 

i'd also like to further develop this with some other ideas: green tea caramel filling? PB caramel? chocolate caramel (that's probably too much)? hmmm.

moonlight, night.

i think a lot about 10-12 years ago, so many nights spent in the backs of cars on moonlit nights, dead of winter.

i remember always trying to find a gas station that was open late, then getting gas and coffee, driving into the country, into the woods, down long winding roads. we were never going anywhere. so often neither of us saying anything at all for miles and miles. i remember being bundled up in my coat, my nose freezing as i looked up through the open moon roof. no worries, just stars.

Venus and cresent moon-25 by Darren Forde, on Flickr

i loved driving in the summer, too - my clothes whipping up with the wind, hair flying everywhere, crickets and cicadas singing in the fields around us. but there was nothing like the intimacy of the winter, closed up and pleasantly claustrophobic inside the car. we'd sit parked at the edge of a field with foggy rolled up windows, looking at the moon through the bare skeletons of trees, sometimes sneaking kisses in the dark, but mostly contemplating our lives. talking about what ifs and would you evers, radio down low. i really miss that.

DSC_0244_HayWagonsInTheMoonlight by jackdtonoavail, on Flickr

i don't miss that person, but i miss that feeling. i miss the company of an introvert. sometimes i need to just be, to sit in the dark in the middle of nowhere under the moon and listen to the sound of the trees. being with an extrovert, silence is a language i miss speaking. it's always kinetic energy, noise and hustle. i don't just want to slow down, i want to sit still. i need a limitless night of some whispered, some wordless hours. a night of nowhere to be. just ... getting away for a while, until my cup of chai goes cold and my eyelids grow heavy.  

i want to take my time, i want to take in the universe before us and watch the world turn. talk about our past and future lives, fears, hopes and dreams.

give me one beautiful, selfish night. to remember who i am.